Kevin was officially diagnosed as having autism when he was four. From a 15-point test, a "6" was required to be classified as autistic and Kevin had exactly 6. What's also of potential interest is Dad has almost as many autism points giving credibility to a theory that parental genetics are involved, but I've apparently learned to cope well enough - depending on who you ask. Though, I perceive more than a few dents in my social armor as a result. Mom's perfect.
Both Kevin and I have great difficulty continuing to look people in the eye for any length of time in a conversation. However Ocean Essential's Brain Health (very pure Omega 3 with the highest concentration of DHA per gram available) nearly rectified that issue for Kevin. We also share the trait of having multiple rabbit-trail-like thoughts occurring nearly constantly except when we're focused on one particular situation. In that case it's very difficult to get our attention. We often hear the interrupting request and begin mentally processing it, but neglect to give the requestor any hint of feedback until we've (fully) processed it... which may take more time than they tolerate. Perhaps similar to ADD, it's like watching multiple movies at the same time, and there is difficulty in determining which movie has the priority - including the person talking to you. Kevin is getting considerably better at selecting the correct movie at appropriate times.
Whatever abilities Kevin may lack - such as cynicism and sarcasm, he has in compensating gifts, most notably a phenomenal memory and an eclectic spectrum of interests. Now a teenager, he's a walking encyclopedia I'm growing to depend on instead of going to the Internet or other reference material.
With Kevin, what you see is what you get. He's incapable of being pretentious and is inherently gentle, kind and transparent. While not the center of social attention, he is generally well liked as his peers feel both emotionally and physically safe around him. He has a refreshingly clear view of right and wrong and can and will likely tell you which of the 10 Commandments you might be violating.
The Scouting Magazine article captured on this website could have been written about Kevin. Nearly every experience and issue mentioned was familiar. Clearly, Scouting has been good for Kevin and for the other Scouts as well. Our troop is blessed with incredibly accepting and inclusive boys and troop leaders. While some boys do not seek Kevin out for activities, others consistently help him participate to whatever level he's capable. It's not fully obvious to them now, but someday those boys will realize how substantially they've benefited by making that effort. The article mentioned parental involvement. For the sake of both Kevin and the Troop I fully agree and have given up other activities to have that availability. There are no regrets.
Kevin is by default consistently positive and optimistic, except when confronted without warning with new and scary situations. We're making significant effort to expose him to various adventures to build his confidence to try new things. His pattern of initial resistance eventually gives way to a reluctant attempt. If successful, great joy follows with multiple subsequent repetitions. If he perceives a failure, the next attempt will not happen without much conversation, coaching, and lavish encouragement. As his experiences increase, there is a slow but real decrease in the resistance required for initial engagement.
Kevin has been consistently told he is gifted with a unique "brain". While the anticipated arrogance that might be induced in non-autistic people doesn't happen, we do occasionally have to remind him of humility when he acknowledges a compliment with an affirmation of the compliment rather than a "thank-you". He's getting better. Me too.
Kevin is not an athlete, but if he ever decides to focus on an individual sport he could potentially be quite good. Kevin has an unnatural ability to repeat a physical action. When he was introduced to target practice with a BB gun at age 10, he missed the first four times while figuring out his aim, then never missed again. He's equally good with a .22 rifle as demonstrated in Grandpa's woods when he nailed a distant target none of the rest of us even saw. In a few weeks, he'll be exposed to shooting trap at a Scout weekend campout. It should be interesting.
(Update after his shooting event: Kevin had not shot his rifle once for nearly a year. We only had 15 minutes left for him to qualify so he had no time to practice. Well, Kevin… at 50 yards had to put 3 of 3 .22 gauge shots through each of 3 different targets about 1.5 in diameter, and 5 more shots all in the same black center of the another target about the size of a quarter. You can take as many shots to qualify as the instructor mood would tolerate. However, 14 shots later Kevin was well qualified. The instructor just looked over at me with a look of admiration and said, "I think that will do. He was done with rifle shooting in about 2 minutes. With shotgun Kevin really surprised some of the other boys as he had never shot trap before, and went from 0/4 to 6/6 hits in 10 shots. Kevin did well if he could stay in the rhythm and might approach 100%. But, when equipment issues or bad throws happened, he got distracted and often missed the next shot. The boy is rightfully very proud of earning his shotgun and rifle shooting merit badges and found something else he can do well. True to form, he has all the training modules memorized from the Remington.com website and was the resident reference guide all weekend for the safety questions and quizzes that came up. )
He's usefully motivated by rewards, particularly Boy Scout badges and 4-H ribbons. In anticipation of a merit badge, he is very disciplined in his exercise routine with an uncanny awareness of the time of day. At exactly 4:15 every day - that's every day, he begins his routine. Though he's not yet learned to push himself really hard, I suspect in a few more months, he will begin to appear much more athletic. His mesomorph physique has incredible potential. It is likely his consistency skill also gives him a "green thumb" as his wide variety of potted plants thrive under his exclusive care.
Kevin's accomplishments are varied and sparsely represented on this website. While we particularly like his Civil War video shown on his webpage, it is not unique. He could do the same for the Civil Rights movement, the star constellations (by season, by direction, by hemisphere), what chemicals make what colors in fireworks, acids, bases, and pH, periodic table, weather, natural disasters, space and planets, which dinosaurs lived in what period, various diseases, poisonous plants, and First Aid. He memorized most of the Animal Planet's "most extreme" lists of animals, reptiles, and insects for lifespan, sleepspan, eaters, cheaters, and poisons. He knows his knots, what actors are in what movie in what year, its rating, etc., etc. He can also quote verbatim way too many episodes of the "Twilight Zone" and "MacGyver". His most recent interest is the Lego's NXT Mindstorms robot kit he builds into various configurations and programs their various operational sequences via his computer.
Early on we attended autism support groups as there is eventually a period of deep and real grieving when all impact of what autism means finally internalizes in us parents. However, we quit going as these were so negatively focused on forcing organizations to serve their needs, and also on what their children would never do instead of enhancing what they could do. Fortunately, we ignored them and found most of their advice and predictions to be in error. A boy with Kevin's then perceived level of autism wasn't supposed to ever talk in sentences or ride a bike, and both are obviously wrong. We're also incredibly blessed with proactively helpful resources, teachers, very accepting school cultures to the point where Kevin is now a mainstream student in the appropriate grade for his age achieving above average grades and looks forward to "getting to go" to school. He reminds his parents of his homework and consistently completes it as much through passion than self-imposed discipline.
Kevin still struggles with conceptual thinking but will clearly master it eventually. Once he does, the positive spirit, enthusiasm, creativity and abundant knowledge he already possesses will make an interesting and unique combination. His conceptual progress is delayed but consistent. With considerable effort he overcomes it intellectually until it eventually evolves intuitively. The day I finally gave up a two-year struggle to teach him pronoun usage, (particularly I, me, and you) was the day he figured it out. So, I'm learning patience and we are both considerably happier as a result.
Kevin is now aware that he has autism and is intrigued by its meaning. He now researches it and is occasionally teaching his parents new things. Maybe he'll pull together research in a new way that will make a significant contribution.
So that's our son Kevin, with bigger feet and a better swimmer than his dad (he wasn't supposed to do that either). He's a remarkable boy and we're quite proud of him.
If you're dealing with autism, we encourage you to expect more than you can believe is possible, and you'll likely find much more joy in the results than if you take the advice of those who have yet to work through feeling like victims.